what do you do when
that ache just won’t go away
kiss me already

okay, sheercover vs. bare escentuals, title fight.

round one: the brushes

bareminerals has this unbelievably soft and plump kabuki brush called ‘full coverage’. also another brush called ‘flawless face’. what works well is to use the flawless one for the foundation and the other one for the mineral veil (=translucent powder). there is also a really firm small brush for applying concealer to trouble spots (have not used that yet as i don’t have trouble spots, just a trouble face).

sheercover comes with a travel brush which you can scoop (included) the foundation or finishing powder into. then you can drop it in your purse and uncap the brush, which is fed the powder from inside its hollow handle. did that make sense? i think it’s a great idea, too bad there is only one. however the regular brush (only one for powder and foundation) literally SHED all over my face. so i spent ten minutes plucking brush hair off my supposedly flawless face… really really uncool.

winner: bareminerals

round two: the makeup

bareminerals has powder foundation in two tones and mineral veil (translucent). sheercover comes with both of these plus a dual tone concealer which goes on first. much better coverage from sheercover, but bareminerals needs less frequent blotting.

also the bareminerals foundation went on spotty at first, i guess because i did not know how much to tap off and how much to concentrate in one spot on my face, etc. it got easier after a few uses but is still hit or miss. the sheercover foundation went on with no complications.

the thing i hate about them both is that since they are loose powders, it gets really messy and i am nervous about wasting whatever i tap into the lid but don’t use since i know i lose some trying to put it back in the little jar. i usually dress first to avoid pulling my shirt over my face with makeup on (staining the collar) but in this case i wind up brushing little powder spots off my shirt after makeup application anyway…

winner: sheercover (?i guess)

round three: the startup kit

both kits contain instructional dvds (good god, did i just write that? what has makeup come to…?) and some type of facial cleanser. sheercover also includes an spf 15 moisturizer (this could also induce blotting). the bareminerals kit includes “warmth” which is basically a bronzer that sheercover sells separately (have not used it yet, it purports to be for lips, cheeks, and eyes all in one jar).

i ordered bareminerals online and after like three days they wrote me a letter(!!) to tell me there was not enough information to complete my order… i only filled in the form THEY gave me online…? i got annoyed and drove to sephora to buy it. there was light/medium/dark in the starter kit, so i got light. the two shades of foundation are both too dark for my skin. i think they have something lighter but it is sold separately…. grrr. starter kit was $60.00. unsure about money-back guarantee when sold retail. they have annoying club autoshipments when you buy online but not in the store.

i ordered sheercover online and after like two days it was in my hands(!!!). starter kit was $36-ish including shipping and tax. they have annoying club autoshipments when you buy at all (phone or online).

winner: sheercover

so… i am at a loss here. today i used sheercover with the bareminerals brushes. that was just day one. the chick at sephora raved about bareminerals but i don’t see it… sheercover is cheaper, but maybe with bareminerals you are paying for the brush quality?? whatever… i am too tired for this.

i am reading the kite runner right now. i am too lazy to post an amazon link. or to get up and look at it so i can give you the author’s name. about a quarter of the way in, and it just got really intense… i really do enjoy his writing style. boy hated it.

boy: that thing reads like someone’s diary!
me: um. it’s called ‘first person narrative’, look into it.
boy: i know, i hate those kind of books.
me: you have never read one first person narrative novel that you enjoyed?
boy: nope.
me: *never*??
boy: see previous statement.

so it is now my mission in life to find out what he has read and find one that was first person that he did in fact enjoy. this is the part where you wonder if i have too much free time (answer of course being no, i just have really fucked up priorities).

that movie sahara was good even though i don’t really dig penelope cruz at all. but i love the other two, and a good william h. macy cameo goes a long way with me. (you will be glad to know i finally saw fargo and i am of the variety that loved it.)

i bought a supercute monthly/weekly planner. it is obnoxiously girly and spiral-bound. will look cute on my desk (or anywhere). i also bought a business book and i’m not even planning to bill the company for it… am fidgety and nervous and postponing writing my presentation for monday.

it is proving tough to find a used beetle for cheap that isn’t circa 1970s. even a jetta or a passat would do at this point… the blue book values are so freaking high!! the hunt continues…

i want to get another tattoo and am eyeing a zodiac rune. here is my problem, nice reader.

my sun sign is one thing. i am totally not a typical one of my sign because my rising sign, my moon (emotions), and my signature are all in a completely different sign. my horoscope for that sign is usually way more accurate.

so if i get the rune for my sun sign, i feel like i am misrepresenting myself to have personality traits which i do not have. if i get the other sign, i feel more honestly represented until someone asks my birthday and figures out what sign i am… i don’t want to lie and say i am a sign that i’m not. but i don’t want to admit to getting a tattoo representing a sign other than my sun sign, since that is all most people know of astrology.

also, if i tattoo it at the base of my hairline on the back of my neck, do you think they will have to cut any of my hair or just shave my neck a little?

the hummer has become unwieldy given the recent scary spike in gas prices.

okay, it was unwieldy all along.

i am trading it in for a volkswagen beetle. yes, you heard right. don’t worry, it will be some awesome color like lime green with pink flames or something.

anyway, i have to do this, otherwise i cannot afford the timeshare i just bought.

i. love. sephora.

i went in there the other day and spent $150 on crap i do not need. the bare escentuals kit for $60 was my main goal (review later). i also found tarte’s clean slate and philosophy’s present, both pre-makeup prep products. they make your skin soooo smooth, but present takes longer to set. i had my accountant set up a separate bank account and budget plan to enable me to purchase every single one of their adorable cosmetic bags and organizers.

however it was an odd bit of info (originally heard on the radio last year) that led to my totally unnecessary purchase of philosophy’s pumpkin pie shower gel/shampoo/conditioner in one. from eat your way to a spicier sex life at webmd:

In a study that looked at what scents stimulated sexual arousal, Hirsch found every food aroma they tested triggered a sexual response in men, and some foods had more dramatic effects than others.

“For example, cheese pizza increased penile blood flow by 5%, buttered popcorn by 9%, and lavender and pumpkin pie by 40%,” Hirsch tells WebMD. [...] In comparison, floral perfume only prompted a 3% increase in blood flow to the penis among men. Among women, the smell of men’s cologne actually lowered blood flow to the vagina.

as shampoo-conditioner products go, it isn’t bad for regular hair. my hair is unfortunately particularly thirsty and requires a separate deep conditioner to behave even a little bit. but it smells awesome, and the scent lingers subtly on your skin for hours. so he would have to be REALLY close (ahem) to catch it. no word yet on whether it drives the dogs crazy.

shyeah, because i need for boy to try to jump me even more often…

i have donated to the red cross and plan to give blood soon too

the standard disclaimer applies here in that this is not normally my thing (politics etc). i am neither republican nor democrat; i am neither liberal nor conservative; i am neither ignorant nor activist. but i do come from the south and here are some things that have been burning inside my head about the hurricane katrina thing. feel free to skip this post. also i will not be drawn into a debate about it, so don’t bother to try.

i do not blame anyone for the bad weather. it’s nature, what are you gonna do? i do however blame anyone and everyone involved in disaster planning at the city, state, and federal level. they should all be fired. the fact that the superdome was their big ace in the hole and they didn’t bother to stock it with anything is absolutely fucking absurd.

i am glad michael brown got the boot though it is sad it took such a colossal failure to accomplish this. the man should have stayed in his horse association and politely declined bush’s nomination. he should also be flogged with something painful for several hours because he admitted on international television that FEMA was unaware that there were people in the convention center for three days.

the mayor’s position is a valid one. but his public speaking skills leave much to be desired. and i don’t care if it IS the most incompetent president i can remember, you do not inspire your constituents by going to the media and telling him to get offa his ass or to get his ass on a plane (please refer to playbook of disaster management by rudolph giuliani).

speaking of giuliani, if that man does not run for president i think i will cry. i will also vote for him if he runs for prime minister, king, or american idol.

i do not know if sean penn really helped pull people from the waters or if it was a publicity thing. but i hope he was serious (probably, seeing how he is just crazy enough to do something like that).

it seems odd to me that the media could get anywhere they wanted to go, but rescue workers and troops could not. is it because the media was in the way? did the media not really go anywhere at all?

i agree that dead bodies should NOT be shown randomly on newspapers and television. not because it is gross, but out of respect because those people have relatives too. and it would suck to find out your grandmother’s fate that way, you know?

i do not in the least blame the residents who stayed because they wanted to, thinking it would be just another storm. after going through 12+ hurricanes each year (”K” is the 11th letter of the alphabet, and there are still nearly three months left of hurricane season this year) you get kind of immune to the warnings. like that period of time after 9/11 when the terror alert level vacillated between high and really high (don’t ask me about colors) for several months… after a while, it ceased to be alarming, and i would not have evacuated my house if they’d told me they’d found a bomb factory next door. this is even more true with weather, which has a notorious habit of, um, changing.

i feel that although bush’s show after the tsunami was not up to par, his show after katrina was even worse. which makes me angry, because these are americans.

i am clinging to the hope that the people crying racism are wrong, wrong, wrong. i think it is much less a function of race and much more a function of class. also i think that bush is so worried about his foreign policy that he cannot pay attention to his domestic policy. either that or he STILL has not figured out what to do and say (see the part where he calls in daddy and clinton, AGAIN, to say comforting things to the public).

one of the reasons i love jon stewart (please marry me, ahem) is that he points things out that i did not think of myself. for instance, the feds are really quick to use legal loopholes and invoke special powers to override state authority when it suits them (terry schiavo, gay marriage, etc). but when americans are dying and babies need clean water and the elderly need medication and all of them need company and comfort, the feds have to wait for an engraved invitation from the governor of the state. and the governor doesn’t have one pre-printed and stamped on the bedside table just in case!

i wish that i knew who the guy is that told dick cheney on live television to go fuck himself this week. maybe he has an amazon wish list. i would send presents because he deserves them.

okay, i think i am done. we now return to our regularly scheduled social lethargy and neurotic paranoia.

i’m late on this one, i know. but it’s waaaaay fun when you have insomnia…

i read somewhere about the google game where you put in your first name with “is” after it (in quotes, like “emmie is”) and click search. it is pretty funny if you just scan it – here are some of mine:

EMMIE IS in town
emmie is a great little dog
emmie is outstanding
emmie is still hanging on in there!
emmie is now moving on
emmie is looking to expand (ha)
emmie is certainly fun to have around

EMMIE is still very much a player
emmie is fearful that if she succumbs to her lust…
emmie is a heroine with more than half-a-brain
emmie is already imitating the animal sounds!
emmie is small, compact, and totally self-contained
emmie is a genius!
emmie is a killing machine
emmie is extremely easy to use (HA ha)

EMMIE is in da building!
emmie is distributed over several machines
emmie is the white one
emmie is the artist of the family
emmie is a wonderful role model for children!
emmie is housebroken
emmie is gonna be pres
emmie is remembered with huge bundles of love and affection

EMMIE is too young to even care
emmie is supposed to be spunky
emmie is pretty vague about her background
emmie is, to date, the only woman to serve as President
emmie is druk bezig met de vakantie (one of my nederlander friends pls translate? thx.)
emmie is a daddy’s girl
emmie is going through an identity crisis
emmie is the embodiment of progress
emmie is shy and reserved, but friendly

EMMIE is offline.

When I go to the pharmacy during the day I always see a lot of old people shuffling around and more than once I’ve thought, “That handmade dress from the mid-60s that grannie is wearing would look way better on me.”

I like buying myself things because I never fuck up and get myself a pair of those scratchy socks from Neimans or one of those stupid, trendy, insanely heavy beaded necklaces. I’ve never pussied out and bought myself a gift certificate to, say, Victoria’s Secret, either. I think the best part of buying myself something is that I don’t have to wrap it.

I sort of hate the show How Do I Look? The Brithost Finola Hughes is surprisingly tolerable but their makeover subjects always seem so depressed. I absolutely loathe when the person is trying on all these new “looks” and they’re forced to do an awkward little dance in the doorway of the dressing room. Man, it kills me every time. How awful! How embarrassing! I would never go on one of those shows no matter how much free shit they tempted me with.

The other show I’ve been gaping at lately is also on The Style Network- The Look For Less. They’ve replaced the tepid Elisabeth Hasselbeck with this really cute girl (see above pic) who apparently won America’s Next Top Model. Unfortch, her name is Yoanna House. I think she should change it to Becky, or perhaps Sophie. Or just drop the “Yo” and be Anna! I’ve never been attracted to girls with Y-names and I really want to be attracted to this girl. She makes the cutest little scrunched-up faces when the stylists are running out of time. Whee.